When Your Child Says “I’m Fine”: Decoding Teen Communication

When Your Child Says “I’m Fine”: Decoding Teen Communication

Written by Devin Heilmeier (Clinical Intern) | Edited by Olivia Price, LCPC

If you are finding it hard to get through to your teenager, or are struggling to communicate with them, you are not alone! In fact, teens are in a developmental stage where they separate themselves from their parents in order to build independence. It can be challenging, because this is a point in their lives where they are making decisions that have consequences (college, career path, driving, etc.). Knowing how to communicate with your teen will allow you to give them guidance during this important time in their lives!

Teenagers are most receptive to conversations that are respectful, open, and honest. They want to feel that their viewpoint is respected (even if you don’t agree!), and that their feelings are acknowledged. 

Teenagers also appreciate when you take an interest in their interests- ask them questions and learn more about what they enjoy. This can help you connect on several levels, because not only will your teen appreciate your interest in them and their hobbies, but you can also bond over a new shared interest.

When your teenager seeks you out for advice or help, they are being vulnerable at that moment. If your response to that is to lecture or judge them, they are not going to want to seek you out in the future. Offering your opinion and guidance without passing judgment or lecturing will show them that you are a safe space for them.

Now, we can’t talk about how teenagers communicate without talking about social media. There has been a rapid emergence of social media in recent years, and it impacts how we communicate and connect with others. Social media is now viewed as a resource for daily living, but prolonged social media usage may be linked to negative mental health outcomes, including symptoms of anxiety or depression. As parents, it is important to be knowledgeable of social media usage and trends to navigate supervising and guiding your kids as they use social media as a tool to connect with their peers.

There are several different social media sites or apps that are all different, and each has a different purpose or use. Below is a list of different social media platforms and what they are used for:

(Khalaf et.al., 2023)

Navigating talking to your teenager can be challenging as they are branching out and seeking independence. But, if you respect their autonomy as an individual, show understanding, and communicate directly, they will be more open to sharing what is going on in their lives.